Confessions of a former, former Christian

About this blog

I am a pastor’s kid, a missionary kid, the holder of a master’s degree in biblical theology, a former youth pastor, a former music pastor, a former bible teacher, and for the last 10 or so years, a former Christian. Or who knows, maybe never a Christian at all, that’s a much bigger theological argument I don’t want to have.

I’ve spent years vacillating between arguing with myself, talking with others, and totally dodging the subject of what a Christian is, whether anyone is really doing it, and (only in my own mind) asking whether I really wanted to be one.

Recently I’ve decided that the path that Jesus walks down is the one I want to go down too and I’m getting on that train. I’m certain I don’t fully appreciate what I’m asking for.

I’ve also realized that the ponderings of these things are worthwhile discussions, and I’ve appreciated everyone who has had them with me over the last several years.

In this blog, I want to share, for whatever it’s worth, how I got here, what mattered to me along the way, and what to do now. I would love to hear what you think as well…

Chris Howard – December 09, 2009



  1. Okay Chris…… I am totally into reading this. Thank you for posting all this personal ‘stuff’ and sharing what your processes are. I love you being a BS detector. I actually think that is a huge gift. There is plenty to detect, no doubt. I admire your authenticity and will continue reading. Thank you….


    Comment by Cathy Kirk | December 20, 2009 | Reply

  2. Hi Chris, It has been a privledge for me to read your #4 blog. You are so expressive and speak from your heart. It is awesome that you have reconnected w/ The One God that has loved us bfore our birth. He knows our mind/heart and patiently waits for us to realize how much he does care and Love Us Humans…enough tosave us fr. Eternal/spiritual seperation…Hell! That is the whole story and esp. During this season. I also have recently been redirected back to God’s way. At least I have stopped blaming him for the bad events in my life. You are such an encouragement and your family are very blessed to have you as their leader in the home. Keep writing! Merry Blessed Christ-mas and Happy New Year!

    Comment by M. Nicole Cadd | December 23, 2009 | Reply

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